Are Your Co Workers Really Your Friends?

Is your co worker really your your friend? I say, maybe. Americans spend over 200 hours per year at work. During that time many different kinds of relationships are forged with the human beings in your office. Some relationships are adversarial in nature, some exist for the mutual professional benefits, some exist because one sees the advantages that the friendship provides such as perceived protection, (although such advantages are not reciprocated), some exist because there genuinely may be common interests and general feelings of caring for and wanting the best for the other person.

Often times true friendships consist of the following attributes according to Ron Edmonson:

- Unconditional Love

- Unwavering Support

- Willingness to Challenge

- Full of Grace.

I think that it is very possible (over time) to develop true friendships with co workers. But, in many situations, co workers do not consistently display the loyalty, love and support needed to sustain a true friendship. For example, have you ever thought you were friends with someone at work until they got that promotion you always wanted? Or you both worked on a major project, but only one of you received recognition/rewards for the project's success? Suddenly you are no longer available to go to lunch, you no longer wait for that person's email, responding in a New York minute, and you no longer discuss anything of importance with that person. As I like to call it, you just say "hi" and "bye!"

When this happens, rest assured - you were simply acquaintances.

If you have been working with some for years and they have never once invited you to their home for a special occasion, honored you during special occasions like birthdays and weddings, don't know your spouse's name, can't recite where you live or the name of mutual friends, there is no interaction beyond talking and gossiping in the office, you wouldn't dare confide anything personal (because there is no real trust) - unless it was work related, and for the grand finale - if you neither think about this person or care about this person past the 8 hours a day that you work with them, I've got news for you - YOU ARE NOT A FRIEND.

Genuine friendships are precious and rare, and not everyone is worthy of taking that front row seat in your life as a friend. Do not bestow that honor on just anyone.

Choose wisely and it's perfectly okay to realize that after it's all said and done, you may actually have more "acquaintances" than true friends at work.